November 22, 2008 (Saturday)
Questions and Answers
I haven’t found the answers. And I’m not sure if I ever will. I only have questions in my head and they keep popping out even though I don’t want to. Because I don’t have the answers, this is maybe why my head keeps on asking. He only has the answers and I’m quite sure that he’s not in any way to clarify things and answer my questions. He’s a bit of a coward, I guess because he can’t even set all things straight all at one time. But when, when I have found myself doomed enough to go away and give up?
The last time I ever talked to him was last Thursday, November 13. He said he was busy and that’s the reason why he hasn’t been calling these past few days. Well, I really shouldn’t expect him to call everyday because he doesn’t really do that. He actually calls two or three times a week. But since last week he only called once because he is busy like what he said. Besides, I’m really not in any rightful position to demand or even complain because as we know and as everyone knows, we are not in a commitment. We are in a whirlwind situation that I myself even find it hard to spell things out. Because he can only spell his own words and actions, not me.
This week, he hasn’t called not once. The only time he called was on Tuesday but that was only because Fabio, his best friend is about to come at my place to get the receipt. He was that concern about Fabio. He was worried that Fabio might wait long for me. And I hated how he abruptly hang off the phone when he called and found that I was already home and that means Fabio won’t have to wait anymore. I haven’t heard from him since last Thursday and it seems that he doesn’t want me to be part of it then I won’t be part of it. Maybe, he’s still busy but no matter how busy a person can get if you wanted to put an extra little time for that person, you will and you can. But it seems that to him, he doesn’t have that little extra time for me. So unlike the way that I always have an extra time for him when he usually asks me for favors then. It is so unfair. He is so unfair.
I’ll give him a week or two and it starts November 24 and will probably end in November 30 or December 7. If he still doesn’t call even once in those two weeks, then it’s high time I give it a permanent rest. This also goes to say that I will never be talking to him again or see him again in any way. Besides, it won’t be a hard thing to do because it’s always been like this ever since. I will just have to resume what I have started. This will finally bring to an end to every unanswered question in my mind. Though they are yet to be answered, I guess it’s high time that I just have to leave it as it is. No more petty fights and misunderstandings. No more damn excuses. No more expectations. No more promises. No more of this and no more of him.
P.S.
Although, I still owe him Php 6,000.00 that I have yet to pay. I will find a way to pay him without talking or seeing him. I will and I know I can find a way. I am not like him who have many excuses and irrelevant reasons.
