Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Torn





I'm in a dilemma wherein I'm torn with two of the most important things to me. This isn't just about simple fangirling you know. It's more than that. These two persons are so important to me. They're not just celebrities that I love. I don't just love them for that. That's why I feel that this dilemma is much more serious that anything I've been involved before.

U-Kiss which Ki Bum is in will be having their concert here in Manila on May 29. It's going to be their first major so I really want to see it. It's going to be one of the most important days for them. Meanwhile, SS501 which Kim Hyun Joong is in is rumored to have a fanmeet here also in July 3. Although this fanmeet isn't final yet,it could push through or not.

Before U-Kiss came last March 26-28, there was still no news about this fanmeet. Even after U-Kiss left. I was definite about attending the U-Kiss concert. I even wanted the VIP just so I could see Ki Bum a lot closer although I've already seen him up-close super up-close last March 28. And I'm particularly anticipating the solo's of each member which they usually do in concerts. I was all calm although I still had to find money for it until something came up.

April 16, Friday came and I wasn't online. I was busy reviewing the past lessons for my Korean class. Something was up and I wasn't even aware of it because everyone was all hyper about it to even bother telling me. Only Ate Yollie was nice to even text me where I was. The thing that they were all hyper about was about SS501's fanmeet in July. I've only come to know about it when I opened my twitter. I thought it was just some news about fans hoping for a fanmeet.

So I found out it was a serious news. This is where the problem comes in. I was definite and still am about attending the U-Kiss concert because it's a first. And then with the possible SS501 fanmeet coming,it's giving me a real big head ache. I'm not in a good financial status as of now that's why. I'm really in a ruckus when it comes to money matters since I've spent my money on two SS501 concerts last December and this February.

With the U-Kiss concert,I've already figured out how to get some money for that. But with the fanmeet coming, I don't know where the heck am I going to get money for this! I'm working freelance so it isn't really stable. It won't reach the amount I needed for the U-Kiss concert alone even I earn every penny I get.

Which is the reason why my head is about to burst into pieces for thinking too much of this. I don't know if I should just choose one or maybe I shouldn't attend any of them at all. I hate this. I can't stop thinking what I should do because it's really hard for me to choose.

If only I had my day job,this wouldn't be a problem. But well I've quit my previous day job because I can't take staying there anymore. This thing is pressuring me too since it will make me find a day job soon and fast just to earn money for the two. To be honest, I feel like I really don't fit in an office work since people doesn't understand me. But now maybe I really don't have a choice. Plus I have debts to pay to my mom. I feel bad about myself because of this. And I also need to earn back the savings I've spent for HK and BKK. I also need to earn for a trip to Korea.


Leader,Marumir what am I gonna do?! You're both pressuring me. Looks like I have no choice but go back to working in the office. Well I just hope I find a good job this time. I'm doing this for you guys, for SS501 and U-Kiss. For Kim Hyun Joong and Kim Ki Bum. So keep on motivating me okay. God help me please. I know maybe I spent a little to much last year and early this year so forgive me for that. But this two are really important.

파이팅! 내 SS501 및 U는 사랑이 모든 키스하고 아무 말도 할 수있다! 그래서 하나님 께서 도와 주시기 바랍니다. 감사합니다.