Disappear
April 05,2007
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Today is Maundy Thursday. I spent the day half sleeping and when I woke up I spent my time watching without complete immersion and thinking,deep thinking.
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Last night, I couldn't sleep and I was thinking in the darkness of my room about what I just did that day. After 2 monts and 2 days,we finally get to see each other again. I last saw him last January 1. It really made me upset from the time I woke up yesterday. Right, I was late but he shouldn't brag me like that. It seems like he's forgetting who's asking a favor. Was it me or him? And what's wrong with it,it's still so early so why's he so irritated. I couldn't figure him out. And because of him, I even forgot the paper in which I wrote Jackie's student number. When I arrived at Jollibee,they were not there at all. Since I forgot the paper, I went to a nearby computer shop to check again. Then he called,they were inside already. So I went in and found him with his sister. He looks just the same. It's just that he's got lots of pimples in his face. Why's that?Whenever I get to see him, he got this plenty of pimples in his face. Offourse,he sure did notice that I got my hair cut. But sure do,he won't compliment me about it. I told him that I can handle this now, you can go and he was out. The enrollment was pretty easy and fast except for the medical examination. We were finished at 11AM. I bought a lunch for the two of us at McDo and told her that after we've finished I'll text your brother to get you. But sue me,she told me when I got back that he's coming. Ohhh my,I really don't like the feeling of being watch while I eat. So I ate fast and did not enjoy my food. Then he came,he was pushing me to treat him because I gave his sister a treat. Hell no! I wasn't really talking when he sat down. I was texting,pretending. Then I said we should go cause I still need to go some place. He asked me if I had a date and where will I be going. I said just somewhere and I don't have a date. As we were walking,he was telling me about this reunion. Then go,I said. I'm not going and you should. Then we parted ways.
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Am I being too nice now?!Let's face it sister,you're doing this because I like him I mean more than that. Though apart from this,I like his sister too.What I really hate is that it's so hard to move away. I'm not really going to forget him totally but atleast I'll have my distance. As Elaine have told me,I should start avoiding him. That's not easy. I should not make it obvious cause ofcourse he's still my friend after all.What I also hate is that I've been doing so many things for him and yet he doesn't really know how to thank me. He never did anything for me on free will. Yes,there were times that he comes by but that was long ago. If he ever asked me out just cause I did a favor but if there's no favor he won't be doing it. He never did something for me without any reasons at all or any favor. If I asked something from him,he have this so many excuses.
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Maybe I'm wrong to still be hoping that he'll ever like me or love me. Maybe he's really not going to notice and appreciate all my efforts. Maybe, I'm just going to get stucked hoping but nothing of it will be real.
