Days in Makati and Conversations in August
This is the third part of "Questions and Answers" and the follow up to "Question Mark".
So what’s the difference of Days in Makati versus Conversations in August? The difference is that when we were in Makati, he didn’t have a choice and I didn’t get used to it that much actually. We didn’t really see each other everyday then. This maybe why I didn’t get used to it and another is that we actually didn’t get to talk to each other longer. On the other hand, when we’re on the phone we actually get to talk longer about much stuff. I think it was more intimate than eating together and going home together. Although we don’t get to see each other on the phone, it’s more interesting because we get to miss each other.
However, he became so busy these past few days and he doesn’t want any intrusion from anyone else including me. I myself have many things in my mind to do and I don’t want any intrusion from him as well. If he doesn’t have time to call me then I won’t have time for him too. It’s payback time. If this is his way then I should just give it back to him the same way.
I still have doubts if I’m going to greet him on his birthday. But one thing I’m sure, if he will have some gathering and he invites me, I won’t come. This time is my time to show him that I don’t have time for him as well. If he can do that, I surely can do. Who knows, I won’t have feelings for him anymore by the time he gets himself to call me again someday.
The thing about him is that he is so relaxed. He is so relaxed that he feels that I won’t get mad even though he disregards me for a week or two or more. Because he’s so comfortable thinking that I’m always here whenever he needs something or whenever he wants to.
I’ll start wandering off from now on. I had my own peaceful world then, without his presence but so abruptly he suddenly interrupted my tranquility and turned everything out of order.
EVERYTHING SUPERNATURAL
Thursday, November 27, 2008
November 27, 2008
Question Mark
This is part two to “Questions and Answers” that I wrote last Saturday, November 22. I’m writing this now because something was up last night. Mr. Question Mark suddenly called out of nowhere. I was at that time reading some book reviews when I heard my eldest brother hitting the ceiling to call attention that someone was on the phone. I went down and saw the phone but it never occurred to me that it might be him. So I answered the phone and when he hasn’t answered, I knew it was him. I didn’t have expectations or whatsoever that it might be him. It was practically out of my mind.
To my ultimate dismay, all he could say was the following: (1.) Fabio told him that I just left him at our living room last Saturday when he came to return my notebook and he was complaining. (2) He was reviewing for some international exam. (3) He needs money because he has already spent quite a sum of money for his self review. (4) He asked if my notebook is ok now. These four petty points were just the things he could gather to come out from his mouth.
I hated it, if all these things were all he could say then he really shouldn’t have called at all. Anna, my college friend said in a rude way, “He called just to say those? “ Another spiteful thing was that he hasn’t called or even sent me a text message for a week and five days. I know he said in November 13 that he was busy and all that. But this is my idea of being busy, even when you’re busy if you really want to reserve a little time for that person, you can and you will. And without hesitation he didn’t. I know I shouldn’t be complaining because in the first place I’m not his girlfriend and he is neither my boyfriend.
Back in the days, I also did the same thing to him this January until July. But this and he taking no notice of me for a week and five days are poles apart. We began talking; going home together and eating more often. Coincidentally, his workplace was near mine. Besides, I wasn’t the one who started this, it was him. And I thought this was particularly normal since he didn’t have a choice because I was the only person he knows working in Makati then. So when I left Makati, I didn’t tell him and by January, I started disregarding him since I thought it wasn’t necessary to text or call him. Besides, what’s the point in doing so because I knew nothing could translate into something romantic. But it’s basically different now since he began calling me in August. Then after that, we started talking to the phone frequently and although I liked it, I was getting to a point that I’ll get use to this routine. And yes, I did get used to it so I started expecting him to call at least twice a week. When he doesn’t call, I get mad at him and he actually did this twice already.
Note: I call him Question Mark because I think he has this big question mark all over him. He seemed to be confused and he doesn't seem to get his guts to say what he really wants to say.
Question Mark
This is part two to “Questions and Answers” that I wrote last Saturday, November 22. I’m writing this now because something was up last night. Mr. Question Mark suddenly called out of nowhere. I was at that time reading some book reviews when I heard my eldest brother hitting the ceiling to call attention that someone was on the phone. I went down and saw the phone but it never occurred to me that it might be him. So I answered the phone and when he hasn’t answered, I knew it was him. I didn’t have expectations or whatsoever that it might be him. It was practically out of my mind.
To my ultimate dismay, all he could say was the following: (1.) Fabio told him that I just left him at our living room last Saturday when he came to return my notebook and he was complaining. (2) He was reviewing for some international exam. (3) He needs money because he has already spent quite a sum of money for his self review. (4) He asked if my notebook is ok now. These four petty points were just the things he could gather to come out from his mouth.
I hated it, if all these things were all he could say then he really shouldn’t have called at all. Anna, my college friend said in a rude way, “He called just to say those? “ Another spiteful thing was that he hasn’t called or even sent me a text message for a week and five days. I know he said in November 13 that he was busy and all that. But this is my idea of being busy, even when you’re busy if you really want to reserve a little time for that person, you can and you will. And without hesitation he didn’t. I know I shouldn’t be complaining because in the first place I’m not his girlfriend and he is neither my boyfriend.
Back in the days, I also did the same thing to him this January until July. But this and he taking no notice of me for a week and five days are poles apart. We began talking; going home together and eating more often. Coincidentally, his workplace was near mine. Besides, I wasn’t the one who started this, it was him. And I thought this was particularly normal since he didn’t have a choice because I was the only person he knows working in Makati then. So when I left Makati, I didn’t tell him and by January, I started disregarding him since I thought it wasn’t necessary to text or call him. Besides, what’s the point in doing so because I knew nothing could translate into something romantic. But it’s basically different now since he began calling me in August. Then after that, we started talking to the phone frequently and although I liked it, I was getting to a point that I’ll get use to this routine. And yes, I did get used to it so I started expecting him to call at least twice a week. When he doesn’t call, I get mad at him and he actually did this twice already.
Note: I call him Question Mark because I think he has this big question mark all over him. He seemed to be confused and he doesn't seem to get his guts to say what he really wants to say.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
November 22, 2008 (Saturday)
Questions and Answers
I haven’t found the answers. And I’m not sure if I ever will. I only have questions in my head and they keep popping out even though I don’t want to. Because I don’t have the answers, this is maybe why my head keeps on asking. He only has the answers and I’m quite sure that he’s not in any way to clarify things and answer my questions. He’s a bit of a coward, I guess because he can’t even set all things straight all at one time. But when, when I have found myself doomed enough to go away and give up?
The last time I ever talked to him was last Thursday, November 13. He said he was busy and that’s the reason why he hasn’t been calling these past few days. Well, I really shouldn’t expect him to call everyday because he doesn’t really do that. He actually calls two or three times a week. But since last week he only called once because he is busy like what he said. Besides, I’m really not in any rightful position to demand or even complain because as we know and as everyone knows, we are not in a commitment. We are in a whirlwind situation that I myself even find it hard to spell things out. Because he can only spell his own words and actions, not me.
This week, he hasn’t called not once. The only time he called was on Tuesday but that was only because Fabio, his best friend is about to come at my place to get the receipt. He was that concern about Fabio. He was worried that Fabio might wait long for me. And I hated how he abruptly hang off the phone when he called and found that I was already home and that means Fabio won’t have to wait anymore. I haven’t heard from him since last Thursday and it seems that he doesn’t want me to be part of it then I won’t be part of it. Maybe, he’s still busy but no matter how busy a person can get if you wanted to put an extra little time for that person, you will and you can. But it seems that to him, he doesn’t have that little extra time for me. So unlike the way that I always have an extra time for him when he usually asks me for favors then. It is so unfair. He is so unfair.
I’ll give him a week or two and it starts November 24 and will probably end in November 30 or December 7. If he still doesn’t call even once in those two weeks, then it’s high time I give it a permanent rest. This also goes to say that I will never be talking to him again or see him again in any way. Besides, it won’t be a hard thing to do because it’s always been like this ever since. I will just have to resume what I have started. This will finally bring to an end to every unanswered question in my mind. Though they are yet to be answered, I guess it’s high time that I just have to leave it as it is. No more petty fights and misunderstandings. No more damn excuses. No more expectations. No more promises. No more of this and no more of him.
P.S.
Although, I still owe him Php 6,000.00 that I have yet to pay. I will find a way to pay him without talking or seeing him. I will and I know I can find a way. I am not like him who have many excuses and irrelevant reasons.
Questions and Answers
I haven’t found the answers. And I’m not sure if I ever will. I only have questions in my head and they keep popping out even though I don’t want to. Because I don’t have the answers, this is maybe why my head keeps on asking. He only has the answers and I’m quite sure that he’s not in any way to clarify things and answer my questions. He’s a bit of a coward, I guess because he can’t even set all things straight all at one time. But when, when I have found myself doomed enough to go away and give up?
The last time I ever talked to him was last Thursday, November 13. He said he was busy and that’s the reason why he hasn’t been calling these past few days. Well, I really shouldn’t expect him to call everyday because he doesn’t really do that. He actually calls two or three times a week. But since last week he only called once because he is busy like what he said. Besides, I’m really not in any rightful position to demand or even complain because as we know and as everyone knows, we are not in a commitment. We are in a whirlwind situation that I myself even find it hard to spell things out. Because he can only spell his own words and actions, not me.
This week, he hasn’t called not once. The only time he called was on Tuesday but that was only because Fabio, his best friend is about to come at my place to get the receipt. He was that concern about Fabio. He was worried that Fabio might wait long for me. And I hated how he abruptly hang off the phone when he called and found that I was already home and that means Fabio won’t have to wait anymore. I haven’t heard from him since last Thursday and it seems that he doesn’t want me to be part of it then I won’t be part of it. Maybe, he’s still busy but no matter how busy a person can get if you wanted to put an extra little time for that person, you will and you can. But it seems that to him, he doesn’t have that little extra time for me. So unlike the way that I always have an extra time for him when he usually asks me for favors then. It is so unfair. He is so unfair.
I’ll give him a week or two and it starts November 24 and will probably end in November 30 or December 7. If he still doesn’t call even once in those two weeks, then it’s high time I give it a permanent rest. This also goes to say that I will never be talking to him again or see him again in any way. Besides, it won’t be a hard thing to do because it’s always been like this ever since. I will just have to resume what I have started. This will finally bring to an end to every unanswered question in my mind. Though they are yet to be answered, I guess it’s high time that I just have to leave it as it is. No more petty fights and misunderstandings. No more damn excuses. No more expectations. No more promises. No more of this and no more of him.
P.S.
Although, I still owe him Php 6,000.00 that I have yet to pay. I will find a way to pay him without talking or seeing him. I will and I know I can find a way. I am not like him who have many excuses and irrelevant reasons.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
The Creepiest Horror Movie
This is quite too late for Halloween but I don’t think there’s something else more scarier and spookier than Ringu,a Japanese horror movie directed by Hideo Nakata and released in 1999. It was based on a novel of the same name by Koji Suzuki.
The story circles about a cursed video tape that when you watched it, you will get a strange phone call telling you you’ll die in seven days. And the eerie part is the way people die. When the deadline comes, the TV set suddenly turns blackout and then a spine-chilling girl comes out of the TV set crawling and coming out for you. Well, she doesn’t kill you herself physically. She kills you by scaring the hell out of your wits. And you wouldn’t want to stare at the victims long enough, you’ll just scare yourself. The victims’ mouths were opened permanently and their faces were painted with gruesome horror. Those ghastly images were like blinking lights that kept popping in my head. But of course the scariest image is that of Sadako, the girl from the TV set. I think the night when I went to sleep and I close my eyes, her reflection keeps coming back to my senses. It definitely gave me goose bumps. I could hardly sleep then.
Ringu, has absolutely started a new trend in the horror genre. No doubt, Japanese filmmakers make the best horror movies. Not even their Hollywood remakes can match up to that. When Ringu became a big hit, Hollywood started showing interest in Japanese horror movies. They started with a remake of Ringu and then came The Grudge and others followed.
It has a really simple story but definitely very original in nature. When it came out, I was like wow I’ve never seen anything like this. A cursed video tape and a creepy girl from the TV out to kill you on your deadline. No bloodsucking and flesh hungry zombies or vampires. No knives or any pointed objects used to kill victims. No chainsaw. No corny ghosts. No white Halloween masks. No possessed girl who can move her head. No creepy voices. Just pure and original spine-chilling movie. I won’t tell the whole story. Go on, watch it and freak yourself out.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
CHANGE: WE CAN BELIEVE IN
George Putong is a Filipino-American promo producer and freelance writer-editor who was born in Philadelphia,now based in Manila.This video blog he made was featured On CNN iReport.
Like him,I believe in CHANGE and now is the time for CHANGE.I support Senator Barack Obama and we have triumphed today as Sen.Obama is declared the 44th President of the United States.
George Putong is a Filipino-American promo producer and freelance writer-editor who was born in Philadelphia,now based in Manila.This video blog he made was featured On CNN iReport.
Like him,I believe in CHANGE and now is the time for CHANGE.I support Senator Barack Obama and we have triumphed today as Sen.Obama is declared the 44th President of the United States.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
The Unspoken
Last Friday, October 31, 2008, I was supposed to go at his place because he volunteered to install and anti – virus software in my notebook. He not me set the time I was supposed to go there, it was at 7:00pm or 8:00pm.
I spent the day like an ordinary week day. I went to work and went home the usual time like it wasn’t All Saint’s Day tomorrow, when all else were having half of their day off for those who are going home in their provinces. I went to Dangwa after work to buy flowers for my Dad, Grandpa and Grandma since I am not going home. I couldn’t think of myself just spending two days there. It’ll just burn me out so as usual I’m going to just send those to Mom.
When I was home, I spent some spare time resting while watching “They Kiss Again” on tv. And then when it was done, I went to the bus terminal to send the flowers. Busted, they wouldn’t accept it because they wanted it to be placed on a box. I kept on insisting but they didn’t even budge. So busted, I went back and started looking for a box that can accommodate the largeness of the flowers. There wasn’t any that will fit until I found my large paper bag I got from the Hero Zone Convention in 2006. It fit but I still had to cut the ends of the flowers. And so there it was, finally at the hands of the people at the terminal ready to be sent to my Mom.
It was already 7:00pm and he hasn’t said anything to me through text. I decided that if he hasn’t texted me yet until 7:30 pm I will be eating out. I sent him a message telling him to text me when he gets to his place. I didn’t receive any decent reply. It was already 7:45pm and still has no reply. I have already finished my meal and it was now 8:30pm, I guess. I was watching ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose” then on TV5 when I heard the stupid phone rang. I knew it, it must be him. I answered it and as usual I didn’t hear any answer from the other line. It was him.
Jov: Magsalita ka Kennedy!!
Kennedy: Laughs
Jov: Next time naman,kung hindi mo pala magagawa sabihin mo agad. Eh kung gawin ko kaya sayo yun.
Kennedy: Na-lowbatt kasi ako eh.
Jov: Eh di sana naki-text ka.
Kennedy: Hindi ko kabisado number mo eh,landline lang.
Jov: Mas importante ang cellphone.
Kennedy: Ginabi na kasi kami eh,kasi naghahabol na.
Jov: Yun nga eh,kung alam mo palang di ka makakauwi ng maaga. Panu na lang kung naghhihintay ako sa labas,eh di naghintay na ako dun ng matagal!
Kennedy: Alam ko naman na di ka naghihintay eh.
Jov: Eh di sana kung tinext mo na lang malamang tulog ka na ngayon.
Biglang iniba ang usapan. Nagtanong ng kung anu anu na movies na I haven’t heard of.
Kennedy: Punta ka na lang dito. Di pa ako kumakain eh.
Jov: Bakit pa ako pupunta eh the only purpose ay dahil lang dun.
Kennedy: Cge tawag na lang ulit ako.
Jov: Oh bat ka pa tatawag eh di kung magpahinga ka na lang.
Kennedy; Ok,ayoko ng makipag-argue.
Jov; Ako din!
Kennedy: Ok,ba-bye,good night!
In our 15 minute conversation, I never heard him say sorry. I mean, I was also the first one to urge him to talk about our supposed meet – up tonight. He could even manage a laugh. He is such an insensitive brat! Was I supposed to say to him, “hey maybe you should say sorry?” Doesn’t he use his head that it’s exactly the thing I’m pointing at that’s why I sound like that on the phone! Or he’s just a plain insensible dick. It’s not just today that something like this has happened. For the record, it is the second time around. The first one was still about that failed Harry Potter book series he promised in December. It still bugs me until now whenever I remember it. Again, today though it’s not a promise but he volunteered again to install anti – virus in my notebook. It wasn’t my idea; it was his so he should stand by his word. If he can’t for some reason then he should just explain his side and say sorry. Just this, just this but it feels so hard for him to do it. If he thinks this is just a petty thing, it’s not for me. Yeah, you may be freakin’ tired but there’s no excuse just say sorry. How hard is that?!
For the years that I’ve known him, I have never heard him say sorry for his faults to me. Never, not even once. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with the word SORRY that he feels he will choke when he say it. Or if there’s something wrong with him because it’s not included in his vocabulary. Maybe he just wasn’t the type of person who says the PATHETIC WORD SORRY. He just wasn’t a person who apologizes or resents his faults to other people. Or he thinks I’m not worthy enough for his once in a blue moon and most treasured SORRY.
I can’t convince myself even more that he’s ever serious with whatever that’s going on between us. I guess he’ll never have the guts to say what he really means. About what we really have and what I really am for him. What I know is that I’m sure of myself and what he is for me. But if he can’t even gather himself to say the stupid word SORRY in simple situations like this, I guess he’ll never have. If he can’t even say SORRY how could he even say those three words that are said too much. Maybe he’ll never have or never will until he learns to say SORRY.
Last Friday, October 31, 2008, I was supposed to go at his place because he volunteered to install and anti – virus software in my notebook. He not me set the time I was supposed to go there, it was at 7:00pm or 8:00pm.
I spent the day like an ordinary week day. I went to work and went home the usual time like it wasn’t All Saint’s Day tomorrow, when all else were having half of their day off for those who are going home in their provinces. I went to Dangwa after work to buy flowers for my Dad, Grandpa and Grandma since I am not going home. I couldn’t think of myself just spending two days there. It’ll just burn me out so as usual I’m going to just send those to Mom.
When I was home, I spent some spare time resting while watching “They Kiss Again” on tv. And then when it was done, I went to the bus terminal to send the flowers. Busted, they wouldn’t accept it because they wanted it to be placed on a box. I kept on insisting but they didn’t even budge. So busted, I went back and started looking for a box that can accommodate the largeness of the flowers. There wasn’t any that will fit until I found my large paper bag I got from the Hero Zone Convention in 2006. It fit but I still had to cut the ends of the flowers. And so there it was, finally at the hands of the people at the terminal ready to be sent to my Mom.
It was already 7:00pm and he hasn’t said anything to me through text. I decided that if he hasn’t texted me yet until 7:30 pm I will be eating out. I sent him a message telling him to text me when he gets to his place. I didn’t receive any decent reply. It was already 7:45pm and still has no reply. I have already finished my meal and it was now 8:30pm, I guess. I was watching ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose” then on TV5 when I heard the stupid phone rang. I knew it, it must be him. I answered it and as usual I didn’t hear any answer from the other line. It was him.
Jov: Magsalita ka Kennedy!!
Kennedy: Laughs
Jov: Next time naman,kung hindi mo pala magagawa sabihin mo agad. Eh kung gawin ko kaya sayo yun.
Kennedy: Na-lowbatt kasi ako eh.
Jov: Eh di sana naki-text ka.
Kennedy: Hindi ko kabisado number mo eh,landline lang.
Jov: Mas importante ang cellphone.
Kennedy: Ginabi na kasi kami eh,kasi naghahabol na.
Jov: Yun nga eh,kung alam mo palang di ka makakauwi ng maaga. Panu na lang kung naghhihintay ako sa labas,eh di naghintay na ako dun ng matagal!
Kennedy: Alam ko naman na di ka naghihintay eh.
Jov: Eh di sana kung tinext mo na lang malamang tulog ka na ngayon.
Biglang iniba ang usapan. Nagtanong ng kung anu anu na movies na I haven’t heard of.
Kennedy: Punta ka na lang dito. Di pa ako kumakain eh.
Jov: Bakit pa ako pupunta eh the only purpose ay dahil lang dun.
Kennedy: Cge tawag na lang ulit ako.
Jov: Oh bat ka pa tatawag eh di kung magpahinga ka na lang.
Kennedy; Ok,ayoko ng makipag-argue.
Jov; Ako din!
Kennedy: Ok,ba-bye,good night!
In our 15 minute conversation, I never heard him say sorry. I mean, I was also the first one to urge him to talk about our supposed meet – up tonight. He could even manage a laugh. He is such an insensitive brat! Was I supposed to say to him, “hey maybe you should say sorry?” Doesn’t he use his head that it’s exactly the thing I’m pointing at that’s why I sound like that on the phone! Or he’s just a plain insensible dick. It’s not just today that something like this has happened. For the record, it is the second time around. The first one was still about that failed Harry Potter book series he promised in December. It still bugs me until now whenever I remember it. Again, today though it’s not a promise but he volunteered again to install anti – virus in my notebook. It wasn’t my idea; it was his so he should stand by his word. If he can’t for some reason then he should just explain his side and say sorry. Just this, just this but it feels so hard for him to do it. If he thinks this is just a petty thing, it’s not for me. Yeah, you may be freakin’ tired but there’s no excuse just say sorry. How hard is that?!
For the years that I’ve known him, I have never heard him say sorry for his faults to me. Never, not even once. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with the word SORRY that he feels he will choke when he say it. Or if there’s something wrong with him because it’s not included in his vocabulary. Maybe he just wasn’t the type of person who says the PATHETIC WORD SORRY. He just wasn’t a person who apologizes or resents his faults to other people. Or he thinks I’m not worthy enough for his once in a blue moon and most treasured SORRY.
I can’t convince myself even more that he’s ever serious with whatever that’s going on between us. I guess he’ll never have the guts to say what he really means. About what we really have and what I really am for him. What I know is that I’m sure of myself and what he is for me. But if he can’t even gather himself to say the stupid word SORRY in simple situations like this, I guess he’ll never have. If he can’t even say SORRY how could he even say those three words that are said too much. Maybe he’ll never have or never will until he learns to say SORRY.
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