Looking Back
I wrote last month about how much I miss the lights in Makati.But this year, this tree and these lights are the ones I always see everyday this December.It was almost a year now when I left my work in Makati. Although,I actually didn't want to leave but I had to. I miss some people there except for one of course. But we just have to move on and move forward. We just have to carry on with our lives.
This December will mark another end of a year and another things I should just forget and leave in the past.One important thing that I should just leave in the past is something that concerns a friend who I thought was a real friend.I don't want to tell the details anymore,I've gone tired of retelling the story all over again. Although,I wasn't totally brainwashed because first things first I had big doubts of him from the beginning.I may have doubts but still one cannot miss being hurt by something that is make believe. My friend Jinky told me that it's not good to just leave everything behind and not even try to ask and talk about it with the person involved. You can't really move on if you have questions smoldering your mind.But I made up my decision and I won't talk about it with him or even ask.Because this is my way and I can't force myself to do something I really can't do. Maybe it's time to forget but not forgive.It's time to put it in the past and never open it again,the incident and the person who caused it.
Every December will be the mark of sending my ill fated memories to the past.This is the second one I'll be sending and I'll be trying my very best to not remember it again.I wouldn't be suprise at all that someday news about him being wed will come to me. But I rather not hear any news from him at all.Things just won't be the same again,I know but I did manage in the past without his presence and I still can.
Next year when I see this Christmas tree again,I will be more enlightened.And I'm sure my holidays will always be as merry as it had always been.
