Reasonable Reasons
Maybe some would say that I have dismissed some things that could have been good. But I do have my own reasonable reasons. It was a blessing, I got the post and its something that I might really enjoy doing. But unknown to me was that there is something in that kind of work that I have thought to be just okay for me but it's not. It's a work that requires me to write for a mini magazine and collect artciles for contributors and trainings as well which I also did before. So it's really not that new to me other than the fact that its a bigger responsibility. At first, I actually didn't know that they were related into funeral services and death plans.I just know that they're into life plans. But later on I found out and I dismissed the thought that it might be awkward. But I was absolutely shocked to see the magazines showing things related to death and it will always be a part of the work that I will be doing to write about those. This I thought was something I wouldn't want to write about because I myself doesn't want to talk about it or anything related to it. And this is a fact I cannot dismiss. It would have been a great job and I honestly think they were good people there. But I still think that it happened because it's already written or planned to happen. We don't just do things and make decisions,it's also of God's will. So I know that God wouldn't have let me decide to leave if he knows it was the right place for me.
Then, again a blessing I was still accepted in the previous one that accepted me. I made up my mind that I could wake up that early and that it's okay. But maybe the mistake was it wasn't cleared to me what actually my work would be. I thought it's more on marketing,you know promotions and everything. But I was so wrong,it was more on sales which I really wouldn't want to be involved. It is something I deeply don't want to be doing. I'd have to prepare lots of contacts which blurred up my mind. It was so many and when you screw up you're dead!I couldn't even follow how she do it. So I gave it up but still I am very thankful to her cause she understood my reasons.
SO now, I'm like this again. Hoping and praying to God to give me the job,please cause I really need it and I really want it. And this is to my Mom,who still understands me despite what I did. I want to this not just for me but for her and for the people who understood what I meant. I want to prove to her,her who made me feel the first of my demise that she was dead wrong at judging me. So please GOD,I am begging you to please guide to the right place and I think it is the right one for me. And I'm ready to make sacrifices and you know that I really work hard. It's just my only wish, so please I hope you could hear me. But still I'm thankful for YOU always but please grant my wish.
