Friday, September 29, 2006


"Once you love a person, you never stopped loving him. "

It has been 10 months and 10 days when we finally meet again. Still fresh from my momentary stagnant mind full of his images, it was November 5,2005 when we last saw each other. Then after 10 months and 10 days, we saw each other again last September 16,2006 Saturday and the only reason he wanted to see me was the application form of his sister in which I took much effort to go to UST to get her a form. It felt like it was almost a year since we last saw each other. He hasn't change much I think. I barely look at his face because I might be caught up in that situation and I might hope to much not to lose that moment. We talk about some stuffs, about me graduating, my brother whom he knows,the application forms,my new cellphone,our car,about him about to graduate too,etc. But I had to admit that there were times when there was dead air, as in suddenly the two of us stopped talking coz we ran out of words to say to each other. Then he would talk again, I was never the first one to talk again when we both stopped talking. I was happy to see him again because I miss him a lot and I know that it will be long till I see him once again.
The more I wanted that moment not to end, the more it gets to its end. I don't know what was running in his mind and neither do I know how he felt that time that he saw me again. I wished I was like Phoebe in Charmed that at any moment I touched a person I would know automatically what he was feeling. I just hope that he too was happy to see me.
Last night I was talking to Katrina on the phone, while I'm stucked in the dark because that stupid storm came and ruined everything, our rehearsal for that rushed event... what now, and our current, our water supply evrything is a disaster until now! Back to Katrina, there was this one phrase she uttered that she took from a movie quote, " Once you love a person, you never stop loving him." It was the first time I heard that but I realize that it was right. There might be someone else in your life now, but that person your first love maybe is still inside in some corners of your heart and you still love him unconsciously. I was turned back from the past. I was a Sophomore, when I met this guy, he was my classmate in our Journalism11 subject. He was a shy mestizo tall guy. We were somewhat close and I was like falling into him and that time my first love, the one I haven't seen for 10 months and 10 days was passive those days. He never came to my mind because I was thinking about this guy. But when the term ended and we never saw each other again, the thoughts about my first love came back. So that time that I was so into this guy, I momentarily stopped thinking about my first love. But then it all comes back to him still because I have never really forgotten him. I have srtaed to love him before and I never stopped loving him until now.
It has been 10 months and 10 days when we finally meet again. Still fresh from my momentary stagnant mind full of his images, it was November 5,2005 when we last saw each other. Then after 10 months and 10 days, we saw each other again last September 16,2006

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

objected by fate

The famous Ms. Jackie Lyn Salenga,the diva of our class and one of my college friends once said this to me: " parang pinaglalaruan kayo ng tadhana kasi ang lapit ng tirahan niyo pero hindi kau magkita kita." I suddenly realize that what she really meant about that was we are absolutely not for each other. Let's count the ways ok. I live just here in Sampaloc, Don Quijote St. just infront Ramon Magsaysay High School and he lives just nearby in a boarding house at P. Noval St. That is just a few blocks away. I attend the Far Eastern University and he on the other hand attends PSBA which is just afew steps away from my school. That is why I began to think it's really weird that not even once for 3 years now, we didn't even see or pass by each other when I always happen to pass by. His excuse to me was that he was always at the library. I've known him for 7 years and 8 months now to be somewhat exact and I've always known that he wasn't the type who loves coozying up at the library.It's not a matter of coincidence,it never seemed like it. Maybe it's just the works and wonders of FATE.
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If it were a absolutely redundant but melancholic love story it will be a happy one because fate supports it. But I guess fate is really not just on our side or should I say not on my side. Yeah that's even more correct to say. Fate always find a way to get two people close together so that both will realize their worth for each other but it's not happening for us. Sadly but undeniably true and that's for me, not him. Maybe fate just happened to have some mistake on our paths. I just hope so but it's not that very possible. Maybe fate just wants the two of us to be pure SPECIAL friends like he once told me.
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Maybe, he was actually born to love someone else and that someone else is clearly not me. And I was also born to love someone else and that's not him.